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Seriously. Stop it.It sounds crazy, I know, of course it does. I say it jokingly, but it's one hundred percent true.I was seven years old when Jesus came into my life. Okay, okay, already. His full name was Jesus Alejandro Diaz, but everybody called him Jesus. Like I said, I was seven years old and everyone I knew thought it was incredibly funny that his name was Jesus.Everybody knew Jesus was a white guy with a beard. Right?Anyway, I was spending the weekend at Jason Keller's house. Jason lived next door to me, and he was without a doubt my best friend in the whole world, and would be until tenth grade when that rat bastard stole my girlfriend.I got over it though, and invited him to my wedding. He was even my best man. And his dad gave away the bride.This night though, we're only seven years old, and we were mad. Tonight was supposed to be cool. Our new, all-time favorite television show - The Dukes of Hazzard - was on, and after that we were going to stay up all night watching. Finally he got up, approaching the expecting girl. She played out the conversation in her head. "If you don't want anyone to see this, you'll keep your mouth shut!"That was not what Jack had in mind at all..."Alright, cunt, I just got done sending this to your parents, along with a detailed text of "this is why your daughter is single now." I informed them that this video was you cheating on me, and that is why we broke up. I'm sure you'll be getting a call from them any minute. You are at liberty to try to talk your way out of it however you wish, but keep in mind that the video is pretty good evidence that you loved every second of it, and even that you organized the whole thing."Amber sat there, stunned. That was not what she was expecting. Sure enough, moments later, her phone buzzed, still being on vibrate from school. She reached for her wadded up jeans, finding her phone in the front pocket where she had left it. She pressed the answer button, but couldn't even force a hello.
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